Tooting Our Own Horns

September 6, 2006

Fellow Mters…do you toot your own horn?  Do you shy away from compliments or thoughts of your own value?  Do you think of what can I do next, not what have I just done?  
My thoughts are many regarding the ways in which we are taught to turn away from compliments regarding a plethora of areas…our appearance, our physical prowess, our intellect, our mothering, our friendships.  I find sometimes that I hestitate to share information about myself that sounds too good, or too competent in the fear that it will be perceived as gloating, or self promotion.  WTF?  Why isn’t it ok to have done well at something?  Or to have recognition regarding a victory?  

Even now I see the generation of girls that my daughter is in sizing each other up; categorizing the pros and cons of each other…sometimes trying to be sure that no one is too good or perceived to be better than in any number of unsaid ways.  

Why can’t we be genuinely joyful over someone else’s good fortune, hard work, deep intellect?  Often I hear children in the same family debate over who gets what and if there is a perception of one getting more than the other, there is this feeling of slight.  I often find myself wondering, if you have what you need, why does it matter what someone else has even if it is more than what you have?  How does that take away from the pleasure of your own experience?  

And how about in the outer world when our society sees someone achieve a tremendous goal and the first question is “now what are you going to do?”  What about reveling in the moment?  Basking in a moment of glory and not racing forward to the next thing?  

Am I alone in these questions fellow MTers?  Help me out here.