From The Mouths of Babes

March 28, 2006

I often get emails that put a smile on my face. But, this one really made me feel warm and fuzzy so I decided to share it:

“Why God made moms” answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

What ingredients are mothers made of?

  1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
  2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?

  1. His last name.
  2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
  3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?

  1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
  2. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?

  1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
  2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
  3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
  4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?

  1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
  2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?

  1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
  2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

  1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
  2. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

…and this one is one of my personal stories:

My daughter was about 2 years old and was doing the pee dance. So, I asked her, “do you have to pee?” She answered, “no.” But she continued dancing. So, I said, “go to the bathroom and sit there, you have to pee!” She got so mad at me and screamed, “NO I DON’T!” But, I made her sit on the toilet anyway. She pulled down her underwear and sat on the toilet…then she looked up at me defiantly and said, “SEE! I TOLD YOU I DON’T HAVE TO GO!!” Then, she started peeing. She had the most startled look on her face and said, “Mommy, how did you know?” I exclaimed, “Mommies know EVERYTHING!!!”

Anyone else have a story to share?