Working fathers' roles in today's families (question/discussion/rant).
Tue May 06, 2008 at 12:56:03 PM PDT
Okay, a 2nd diary posting for me! Woo hoo!
In the comments of my previous diary entry about me possibly reentering the workforce, someone said that I should be sure to :negotiate major participation from DH in the family/child/home care areas. Major participation--like 50-50 if possible."
In theory, I think that's great, but in practice, it can be hard to achieve. I'm just wondering where everyone else is at with it? (More on me after the jump.)
some of this is cut and paste from the other comments section...
As I replied, my dh is a great dad, more involved than probably any other dad I've seen. He also does way more around the house than any other dad I know of, even with me at home (I'd say he does about half the cooking and cleaning).
But... it's pretty clear to both of us that at least right now, his career has top billing. He makes roughly twice what I'd be making, he puts in way more than 40 hrs/wk while my potential position is pretty set, and he's in a really critical stage (working for a start-up with a couple of big launches in the next couple of years). I think that yeah, most of the time, I would be the one taking them to the dr., staying with them when they're sick, etc.
Yes, he's perfectly willing and able to do this stuff, but I feel like we need to be realistic, at least for now. I don't feel like a lot of American workplaces are family friendly, and I do think that dads get dinged when they try to work a reasonable number of hours or if they try to be involved/help out with this stuff. And obviously, moms get dinged, too.
I will add that I don't necessarily see this as a forever solution for us (or for everyone else). If his start-up tanks, he may freelance again, in which case, he'd be the go-to person for the kids.
