After a week of posting replies, I am here now to let you all know a little about me.
I am Lorin, thirty-two and living in Memphis, TN. I have a son, Jah Isaac, who will be three on Saturday. I have been liberal all of my life, much to the dismay of my father, who despite his youthful listening to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, is now quite conservative. I would say my open-mindedness is most likely the result of a wonderful, eccentric, and open-hearted mother, who taught me to think for myself.
My loves beyond my son are music and words. I am a deep house deejay and I also love to dance – I have been involved with the underground music scene (formerly known as “rave”) for 15 years, based on a love of music, dancing, and community.
I have also had a stint as an editor of an arts and culture magazine that a few of us here created, the manager of the now-defunct Midtown Food Coop, and then years and years of service industry stuff while in school. I have a psych degree that is stuffed somewhere in my studio, and never went on to grad school so that I could focus on music.
For money, I clean houses. Sounds horrible, but while my son is young I do this to be with him as much as possible. He hangs out with his dad in the mornings and then me from midday on – we do the pinch hit thing. It works out ok, but has many drawbacks, i.e. lack of insurance, etc. See, I fall into that category of people who make too much for assistance, but too little to pay outright for benefits. My job also pays quite a bit per hour, so finding a replacement that has double hours thus far seems to leave me with half the money for double time worked, plus a need to pay for childcare.
Currently I am putting it out to the universe to find something workable, challenging, with benefits and enough pay to get my son somewhere healthy and trustable. I need to put my brain to work somewhere besides online. I try to look at cleaning toilets as meditation, and as if I am putting good energy into people’s homes, but that only goes so far and my knees are killing me, hah.
Living in Memphis is a challenge for someone like me. I had a homebirth, we cosleep, I am still nursing, and most people think I am pretty crazy when they find these things out. Thankfully, I have a wonderful support group in my immediate sphere and I am pretty hard-nosed as far as trusting my gut where my son is concerned.
I am very sad and worried about the state of things in our country, our world right now, and sometimes at a loss as to how to effect change. When you are so worried about how you are going to put food on the table, there is sometimes little energy to reach outside of that tension and speak up, but I continue to try, and do. The most important thing I know I can do is to teach my child to be kind, compassionate, articulate, discerning, and to use those qualities in his decisions and dealings with each and every person he encounters.
I happened upon this place through DailyKos. I have been a member there for almost a year, but only written one diary, though I read everyday and learn so much. I tend to do most of my writing at my personal blog, but I see myself becoming more involved here at MotherTalkers, due to content and the fact that this community is smaller (for now) and more managable to my brain. My concerns, or the things that really get me fired up enough to want to write, tend to be in some way related to motherhood, children, and my belief that the world could stand to look at things more like a mother looks at her children.
You can find me at these other places as well:
I am glad to be here, and look forward to sharing with you.