How to Feel Like a Pervert 101

April 15, 2006

About a week ago, I gave my son a bath. After his bath, I was getting him dressed, starting with his underwear. I guess I wasn’t thinking and pulled the underwear up too high, hurting his…male parts.

Now, before I go on, I should explain something. My son is 7 and has no contact or relationship with his father. I’ve taught him to call his penis, his penis. But, I don’t know how to refer to his…balls. Should I call them balls? Nuts? Testicles? Scrotum? Huevitos? WHAT? So, after another one of his baths, I decided to investigate the situation and well, take his lead. I thought as I was dressing him, maybe he and his friends already have a name for it and I’ll just call it that. So, I asked…

Me:  Do you and your friends talk about your penises?

Him (with shocked look in his face): NO! I’m 7! We talk about toys and cartoons.

Talk about feeling like a perv! How do you recover from that??

So, all you mothers out there, HELP!! What do I call my son’s business? I mean, I don’t want to use a vulgar term, NOR do I want it to sound too clinical. Please help this single mama out!!