Bare on Bear

March 29, 2006

A sculpture of Britney Spears, buck naked on a bearskin rug, giving birth, will appear at a gallery in Brooklyn as part of a pro-life exhibit.

The gallery’s press release says that Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston “celebrates the recent birth of Spears’s baby boy, Sean, and applauds her decision of placing family before career.”

Connecticut-based artist Daniel Edwards, who fashioned the four-on-the-floor sculpture, told the Associated Press:

“I admire her. This is an idealized figure. I depicted her as she has depicted herself…seductively. Suddenly, she’s a mom…Pro-lifers normally promote bloody images of abortion. This is the image of birth.”

I don’t even know where to begin.

The claymation doggy-style Britney sure looks lean and placid for a woman in the midst of natural childbirth. I’ve seen plenty of pictures of the pop princess on newstands when waiting in line at Walgreens, and she hasn’t looked that toned and fat-free since the first trimester of her first pregnancy.

I have no idea what the pro-life aspect of this imagery is. Um, don’t get an abortion because then you’ll miss out on childbirth, which is ssssooo sexxxy?

The idea of Britney being a posterchild for the pro-life message is too, too funny. Isn’t she the gal who popularized streetwalker fashion for the pre-teen set? She did manage to get some mileage on the virginity meme, if only in terms of turning it into a challenge for wolfish older men who dreamed of popping her cherry.

Deciding to put family before career? Celebrity mothers must make some very difficult decisions, like, two nannies or three?

Britney might have had her butt up in the air on a bearskin rug when she conceived, but she sure as hell didn’t when she gave birth. Like most of the wealthy women in LA, she had a scheduled c-section.